*The Friendship*

June 4, 2006

On Friendship

And a youth said, “Speak to us of Friendship.”

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed

*The Nothing*

The only escape I had was to create a black hole inside me. I needed something to absorb all my negative emotions. I needed something to absorb anger, grief, remorse, pain, hate, jealousy, insecurities and pride. This space anomaly was created as a conduit for me to be safe, or I thought it would be.

  Few years ago there was a leakage and it wasn’t able to sustain all the surge of emotions at once. I panicked. A new persona emerged out of this nothingness that even I was scared to see it, to feel it or to put it more precisely accepted it as being part of me.

  I erupted like a violent volcano, like a un-block-able tsunami. I never thought I could cause so much pain and suffering to others in such a small period of time. It was like having the ability of time compression. Nothing existed but those emotions I have been sealing for so long.

  With all the disappointments and failures I created there is always this spark of HOPE that never ceases to shine on my darkest hour. As I accepted my mistakes and acknowledge the imperfections of others I created a seal to support the black hole I designed; for my security hoping that it will never leak out again.

  I can’t share this load to others because they don’t have the heart to bare it with me. They can’t understand. They just do it out of obligation rather than with true love.

  Everything is black and white. No grays or maybes. How long can I stand the loneliness of this planet? When the SILENCE comes everything will be destroyed and the world will just pass by without knowing what was lost.