*The Nothing*

The only escape I had was to create a black hole inside me. I needed something to absorb all my negative emotions. I needed something to absorb anger, grief, remorse, pain, hate, jealousy, insecurities and pride. This space anomaly was created as a conduit for me to be safe, or I thought it would be.

  Few years ago there was a leakage and it wasn’t able to sustain all the surge of emotions at once. I panicked. A new persona emerged out of this nothingness that even I was scared to see it, to feel it or to put it more precisely accepted it as being part of me.

  I erupted like a violent volcano, like a un-block-able tsunami. I never thought I could cause so much pain and suffering to others in such a small period of time. It was like having the ability of time compression. Nothing existed but those emotions I have been sealing for so long.

  With all the disappointments and failures I created there is always this spark of HOPE that never ceases to shine on my darkest hour. As I accepted my mistakes and acknowledge the imperfections of others I created a seal to support the black hole I designed; for my security hoping that it will never leak out again.

  I can’t share this load to others because they don’t have the heart to bare it with me. They can’t understand. They just do it out of obligation rather than with true love.

  Everything is black and white. No grays or maybes. How long can I stand the loneliness of this planet? When the SILENCE comes everything will be destroyed and the world will just pass by without knowing what was lost.